Tuesday, June 29, 2010

We're Pregnant!

It's taken far too long to post this news on the blog, mostly because we felt it was important enough to merit more effort than a normal post. Well, as it turns out, that means we'll just end up putting off the post for months. So, to make this easier to write for us, here's a convenient FAQ:

Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Are you really?
A. Technically, no. Only Sarah is pregnant. Michal is biologically incapable of becoming pregnant, as are most human males.

Q. When's the due date?
A. October 18, 2010

Q. Wait! That mean's Sarah's 24 weeks.
A. Actually, 24 weeks and 1 day as of this posting.

Q. How do you know that?
A. There's an iPhone app for it. Actually, I use two.

Q. What iPhone apps do you recommend for pregnancy?
A. What To Expect and iPregnancy. You have to pay for iPregnancy, but it's totally worth it.

Q. Okay, enough with the software. Can I see the baby?
A. Yes. We've posted first trimester ultrasounds and second trimester ultrasounds.

Q. Is it a boy or a girl?
A. We don't know. Please feel free to tell us your guess based on the ultrasounds linked above (they are sufficient to tell). If you are a medical professional and have experience reading ultrasounds, please keep your guess to yourself. But otherwise feel free to tell us, even if you are 89% certain you can tell the gender. Better yet, send us an email with an edited copy of one of our ultrasounds, circling the relevant bit. (I would surmise at least one of you will end up circling a hand or some other anatomically irrelevant part.)

Q. What are you naming it?
A. $USER, after you! Thanks for asking, now you've gone and ruined the surprised for yourself.

Q. Are you having a baby shower?
A. Babies don't need showers. In fact, they don't even need a bath every day.

Q. Are you registered anywhere?
A. Yes. We're registered with Amazon and Target.

Q. Why aren't you registered with Babies R Us?
A. I'm throwing in this question to explain to the world that Toys R Us and Babies R Us are the worst company you can potentially have to deal with. They handled a crib recall for us, and they were terribly unpleasant and unprofessional to deal with. Michal received 4 different pieces of spam within a 24 hour period from them, and they canceled an order twice, while continuing to show available inventory on the website. A few years ago, Amazon was sued by Toys R Us for violating an agreement to allow Toys R Us to be the exclusive provider of toys on Amazon.com because Toys R Us proved to be such a horrible experience for Amazon customers. Turns out, Amazon was right. The reviews of toysrus.com agree with me.

Q. I'm just finding out through the blog. How come you didn't tell me in person about this big news?
A. Sorry. We've been discussing the pregnancy with friends as we've seen them. Perhaps you haven't seen us in a few months, or perhaps we simply forgot we hadn't told you. To make up for this transgression, we've decided to name the baby after you, $USER.

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